Introduction
: 24:
15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
The Scripture is full of verses and passages that address instruction and principles for successful parenting and successful families.
Acts 10:1-2
“There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of what was called the Italian Regiment,
2
a devout
man
and one who feared God with all his household, who gave alms generously to the people, and prayed to God always.”
Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Pro 22:6 NKJ).
Question
: The question is, Is Proverbs 22:6 a promise or a principle?
Application
: We know from history, biblical and otherwise, that this may or may not always be the case.
What our responsibility is as parents is to provide the necessary ingredients that can allow for that possibility.
If we believe and hold to free will, this is a just statement.
Transition
: So, I have chosen my own list of what I think is really important that we as elders, parents, leaders, coaches, mentors, etc… That go a long way in helping shape our children serve the Lord.
Parenting experts tell us that there are two main reasons to be consistent.
Application
: We definitely can’t or shouldn’t live by the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do!”
Being consistent will help avoid
anxiety
and
chaos
.
Illustration
: For kids, inconsistency produces anxiety. Think of it this way: what if your boss was nice one day and mean the next? What if she said “good job” to you and then turned around and said “that’s unacceptable” after you performed the same task the exact same way? Or what if your employees showed up to work sometimes, but didn’t show up other times?
I will add the dreaded third: Consistency
helps eliminate any excuse of hypocrisy
.
Why Is Consistency the Hardest Thing for Most Parents?
Question: Why is it so hard for parents to be consistent? First of all, parents are human. Unless we really push and train ourselves, I think it’s easy to get off track.
To a parent, expediency often takes the place of consistency. It’s quicker to pick up your child’s room yourself when you’ve got company coming over than it is to get your son to take responsibility for it. Quite a few parents have told me things like, “I get so frustrated that my daughter won’t do what I’ve told her to do a thousand times that I start screaming at her.”
Transition
:
2. Successful Parents provide structure, limits, boundaries; Correction
Question:
Why are boundaries necessary? Boundaries actually provide security!
Question
: Should I ground my child from going to youth group as a discipline? After all, he loves going to youth service! Probably not youth night at church but youth venture to Disneyland maybe?
3. Successful parents don’t expect perfection either from themselves or their children
.
Parenting is an art, not a science. Successful parents understand that, like themselves, their children aren’t perfect either. This frees them to love their children unreservedly.
4. Successful parents don’t fear occasional failures.
They understand that mistakes are a normal, even healthy, part of parenting. They make the best decisions they can and when they’re wrong, they learn from their mistakes and try to do better the next time.
5. Successful parents don’t expect to have smooth sailing.
Children have their own opinions, personalities and preferences. Inevitably, they cause us to say “Where did THAT come from” or “What WERE you thinking”? Our responsibility to provide them with limits and guidance will sometimes clash with their growing desire for independence. Successful parents aren’t surprised by them; they expect them.
But successful parents understand that their responsibility to their children is not to always please them or make them happy – it’s to make the hard decisions that will be for their best in the long run
.
6. Successful Parents value individuality.
7. Successful parents don’t go it alone.
Successful parenting means trusting yourself, but not being a Lone Ranger. No one has the experience or answers to every parenting challenge. But each of us has some of the answers and, together, we’ve got them all. So successful parents aren’t reluctant to seek out the wisdom of others. They know that, at the end of the day, the decision is theirs, but before they get there, there is plenty of wisdom along the way waiting to help them.
8. Love Unconditionally
Application:
this factor is so paradoxical. By nature, we love our kids! In another sense that very same love moves us to correction, rebuke and discipline.
Conclusion:
It takes a lot of courage, patience, wisdom, grace and discipline to lead our homes successfully but it is not only God’s mandate but also His desire.
But Others – When All Else Seems to Fail
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Presence and Activity of Faith
Hebrews 11:1-2, 33-35 Introduction: I started the year with Immanuel, God with us, then last week, ‘Getting Rid of Stuff’, and now I will spend the next two weeks to speak to you about the role of Faith in our lives. 11:1-2, ‘Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen: it…
Getting Rid of Stuff
Introduction: ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 2 We do this by…
It’s All Good
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Christmas Presence
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Christmas Persecution
Matthew 2:1-21 Introduction: Part 2 of my Christmas Series. Last week Christmas prophecy. This week let me look at what I’m calling Christmas Persecution. Question: That doesn’t sound like a good title or theme, does it? At the heart of what I want to say or communicate is that Christmas came and comes at a…
The Child of Promise
Introduction: My three-week Christmas messages begin with a prophecy about a Christmas to come. Scholars believe that Jesus fulfilled between 300 and 570 prophecies in the Old Testament: Scholars estimate that there are between 200 and 400 prophecies in the Old Testament that Jesus fulfilled as the Messiah. Some scholars believe there are more than…
The Joy of Happiness
I Thess. 5:18 Introduction: Last week I attempted to share and sort out the difference between thankful and grateful and how they are found among the abundant blessings we have from the Lord. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, ‘Always be joyful (Rejoice always). 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s…
Thankful, Grateful and Blessed
Introduction: Thanksgiving – ‘It’s the most time of the year.’ Grateful and thankful are close synonyms that can both some differences between the two: One is active and the other is passive. State of being Gratitude is a mindset that’s a part of who you are, while thankfulness is the expression of that feeling. Focus…